Yet Another Thing I Thought I'd Never Say

We got our son's autopsy results today. I am so very thankful I was not alone at that appointment. Eli's chromosomes were 100% normal, just like Wyatt's. Eli was missing both kidneys and his bladder but other than that was completely NORMAL. While we did not have an autopsy for Wyatt that is exactly his diagnosis via multiple ultrasounds. So, we have answers and yet we don't have the most important answers. Why did this happen to us twice? Why both of our sons? As I've always feared, I don't believe we will ever have these answers. Lucky for me, I cannot recall the last time I let fear keep me from pursuing my passion. Lucky for us, my husband is as steely as I am. We still have a few lines in the water as we have not heard from the geneticist yet and it sounds like she may have pursued additional testing which may/may not yield some answers. I won't be holding my breath.