May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
-Irish Blessing

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

No Parent Should Have to Suffer the Loss of a Child

Yesterday I finished reading "The Quickening" by Michelle Hoover. There is so much loss in that book. Loss of babies and children. In one passage, a mother speaks words something to the effect of "Children die. God does not do it."

I believe that one of the greatest injustices in life is the death of children, whether they are lost in pregnancy, infancy, childhood, teenage years or adulthood. No parent should have to suffer the loss of their child. No parent should have to face a day on this earth without their child. It defies the laws of nature. I don't think there can be a love greater than that between parent and child. A parent knows a child from the moment that life begins.

I've been thinking about how to explain what it feels like to lose a child to someone who has never lost a child. It is more than the excruciating immediate pain of the child's death. Beyond the feeling of burying your heart in the ground with your child. It is an ever present feeling that something is always missing. It happens when you see pregnant women, babies, babies or children that would be your child's age, babies the same gender as your child. It happens when your own children reach milestones and you are reminded of those that you have missed and will continue to miss. It happens when there is silence when your child's name should be spoken. It happens on days that are meaningless and is especially present on holidays and birthdays. It speaks to you even when you are not listening. Tears won't always flow and your heart won't always ache as painfully as it once did. It lives within every breath, every beat of your heart.


  1. Wow. You're exactly right, it's NOT right for ANY parent to experience loosing a child. There are things that I will never understand, and that is one of them. Loosing a child does go deeper than a piece of your heart being gone, it's something that can't be explained. It comes through experience. Experience which no one should ever have to endure.

  2. Very well said. Losing your child is more than just that initial burst of pain. It's so much more and I think that's what others don't understand. Holding you close in the thoughts these next couple days. I wish there was something I could do for you. Big hug to you!

  3. Well said.
    The loss of a child is the worst thing. Thank you for all your words today.

  4. I will be thinking of you and your family on Friday... holding you close to my heart. As you said in one of your postings...I pray you get to hear your new babes tiny voice and see those beautiful eyes. No parent should have to experience losing their child, and I wish there was something I could do to help ease the pain that you will have to endure yet again. Know there are many strangers that are thinking and praying for you!

  5. Well said. People don't realize that it's an everyday struggle and always will be. You're such an amazing, strong mother and person. *hugs*



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