May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
-Irish Blessing

Friday, July 8, 2011

The Deja Vu Keeps Rolling

Warning: possible tmi here...but it's just too much to bottle up I suppose. Here I sit, thinking about this time one year ago. It was then that I got pregnant with Eli. It is far too easy to remember because this cycle started on the exact same day as last year's cycle. Something which I find inexplicable considering that in that year's time I had a baby. What are the odds that my cycle would begin the exact same day one year later? And, the day after my birthday both years. Unbelievable.

Not too long after I got pregnant my husband asked me if I was going to sell my fertility monitor because Eli was to be our last child. I vividly remember telling him not yet, that you never know. I also saved two pregnancy tests. It makes me wonder that perhaps I did know. That maybe if there is a next time I should purge it all, leave no questions, no doubts to linger. These are the kinds of things I remember.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Mandy. I started following a while back. I commend you on your writing for you truly reveal honest, raw emotion. I do not claim to have some deep understanding about what you go through everyday. I am just reaching out, from one mother to another; we all have a story. You bathe your boys in such a beautiful light. You have a beautiful soul Mandy & it is a pleasure to be a tiny part of Wyatt & Eli's life & memory. Such gorgeous little guys! You are in my thoughts & prayers and also in my heart. Please know that when you are hurting, my heart hurts for you. And when you find that tiniest bit of peace, my soul rejoices. Know that someone out here in "cyberland" genuinely cares. Sending big hugs from little ole Mississippi. May you find some small bit of comfort today. ~Julia

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  2. Thank you, Julia. I really appreciate your comments - they touch my heart.

    ReplyDelete

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