Thursday, June 9, 2011
Maybe It's Just Them
Not many things bother me like they used to, it's been an internal shift. Normally I am a very vocal person with a strong tendency towards criticism. Not lately though. I'm not sure why. If it's just a lack of energy, lack of interest, lack of concern or just a realignment of priorities. I've gone through and being going through one of the worst experiences in a human lifetime and compared to that so many things seem so little, so unimportant. Some things still creep in though. Sunday was a very important day and also a very silent one. No one said anything about Wyatt to us. I've talked about silence before, how very painful that absence is when felt in the absence of my children. Sunday was not unusual. Rarely is that special day acknowledged and I wonder sometimes if our siblings even remember the significance of that day. I wonder if they think about the small life that entered the world that many years prior. Or whether they give any thought to how profoundly that small life, those few hours, changed our lives. That's the thing about silence, it is rife with questions and devoid of answers. I do not know if it exists out of fear of causing me pain or if it's because no one even realized it was that day. I like to think the former but neither is very comforting.