May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
-Irish Blessing

Monday, October 31, 2011

Would It Have Fit?

Today, Halloween, I find myself thinking about a perfectly puffy pumpkin costume packed away downstairs. It has not been worn for many years. Size 3-6 months. Eli would be almost eight months today. His younger sister was also born in March yet was small enough to wear it for her first Halloween. Eli was small too, so I wonder if it would have fit him as well? Last year Halloween was still happy. It was before Eli's diagnosis, before months and months of heavy gray clouds settled in above our house and stole our smiles, laughter and dreams. Last year we believed that this Halloween we would be dressing four kids for trick-or-treating. That costume never even got to leave the basement. It knew better and shortly thereafter I did too. Now, it all sits downstairs mocking me, waiting to see if it will ever be unpacked in this house again. Waiting.

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