All this Talk about Death

It is the big pink elephant in the room and there is no ignoring it.  Death hangs over me, but not really, me like a bloated raincloud.  My last OB appointment revolved around it.  No happy fundal measurements to see how much the baby had grown, because this was my first fundal measurement due to the lack of fluid.  No jokes about the holidays and pregnancy weight gain.  Talk of studies, autopsy, funeral, testing.  The hearty, meaty stuff that is really chewy and leaves a bad taste in your mouth when you finally swallow it down.  I do know that I will deliver baby early, probably around the time I delivered Wyatt.  I also know that my doctor has hope that my uterus will be able to sustain another pregnancy and that means the world to me.