Preparations

I thought it may be helpful for any families who are still carrying their precious Potter's babies to share some of the things we did to prepare for our sons' arrival while I was still pregnant with them.

• I crocheted blankets and hats for the babies, my mother also crocheted blankets and hats for them. We had them wear some the day their were born and there were also ones that we buried them with.
• We bought outfits, both newborn and preemie size. We did not know the boys' genders so we had to buy multiple outfits for each size. Wyatt fit a newborn size pretty well, Eli was small enough to fit a preemie outfit perfectly.
• We bought little stuffed animals for the boys, again, one to keep with them and one for us to keep.
• The hospital made three dimensional hand and footprints for us of Eli and footprints for Wyatt. We later framed these in shadow boxes. We asked if the hospital had print molds available and had also prepared to bring our own.
• My husband built both boys' caskets. We lined the insides with a white satiny fabric and made a pillow too. We decorated Wyatt's with Winnie the Pooh patches attached to the inside of the lid. For Eli my husband decoupaged drawings done by each of our girls for Eli to the inside of the lid.
• We made birth plans for the hospital and met with them to go over the plans and share our wishes.
• We gave each boy a bath. We brought special lotion and wash for Eli.
• We dressed each boy in a special outfit.
• We made sure to take pictures of the boys' hair, hands, feet, body. We took pictures of us kissing Wyatt and Eli and pictures of us holding them. Family pictures, single pictures. We did not explore Wyatt's little body as much as we could have so with Eli we made sure to take in every inch of him. He was our son and we loved all of him that day.
• We made arrangements to have a priest there at the time of delivery so that the boys would both be baptized right away.
• We had family members photograph Wyatt and contacted a photographer through the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep organization (child bereavement photography) to photograph Eli's birth. We also had family members photograph Eli. We had both black and white pictures and color pictures done. We also have video from the operating room and our hospital room of both boys after their births. We had lots of family present at both births and took a picture of each family member with Wyatt and Eli. I had picked out a few special photographs that I wanted taken prior to Eli's birth.
• We bought some frames and photo albums prior to the births.
• We had the hospital take clippings of each boys' hair and also put their hand/foot prints into baby books for us. They made extra prints on plain paper for us too. We also asked for basically anything that was the boys', the nasal aspirator, comb, baby wash, blankets, gowns, anything that touched their little bodies.
• We kept each boy with us until we were ready to say goodbye, we knew there would be no second chances.
• We made funeral arrangements ahead of time. We worked with my church to pick out readings and a song for the service. After Eli's birth we emailed a photos of him and his footprints for the program. We drove both Wyatt and Eli to the cemetery in our car. One caveat as to funeral preparations, make sure to ask about price! The funeral home we used with Wyatt performed most of the services at no charge but the same funeral home under different management charged an enormous fee for Eli's funeral. A funeral home is required to give you a price listing when you make funeral plans. Some funeral homes may have special pricing arrangements for infants and some may not.
• While I was pregnant with Eli, my priest gave me a special blessing for mothers. This was very comforting.
• After the boys were born we had the photos printed up as soon as possible so that I could have pictures with me at the hospital.
• Before Wyatt's birth I had not thought to make sure I had a dress for the funeral and this was very traumatic. My milk came in the day of the funeral so my figure was quite distorted from childbirth and engorgement. I couldn't bring myself to wear a maternity dress so my husband went out and bought a few options, thankfully one fit. Prior to Eli's birth I tried on a stretchy knit dress during my seventh or eighth month to make sure it would fit afterwards.
• For the mother, take tight sports bras to the hospital and wear them after giving birth to help suppress milk production. Also, I had taken a nice loose fitting shirt that I wore for some photographs with Eli. It was wonderful to have some photos where I'm not dressed in a hospital gown.
• We also saved almost all of the flower petals from both Wyatt and Eli's flowers and laid them out to dry. When they were dry we put them into pretty glass bowls and vases. For Wyatt we found two round glass bowls which had tops with small spots for votive candles and for Eli I got taller hurricane type glass containers that are candle holders. They are beautiful reminders of our sons and the love given to them.