Fate took care of me the day Eli was born. For a reason I cannot explain, I packed a really pretty and drapey non-maternity shirt in my hospital bag and unknowing to the nurses, they suggested later in the day (when my husband and I were enjoying our alone time with Eli and the NILMDTS photographer came in) that I put on that shirt for pictures with Eli. I did and that shirt gave my pictures a look of normalcy that my pictures with Wyatt do not have. They are beautiful and cherished.
The shirt however became "that shirt" and I couldn't wear it for a very long time after Eli was born. I have worn it but recently me and the shirt made a big statement together. My husband and I were married just before Christmas almost eleven years ago and since I am a stay at home and he is not, each year I pack up the girls and head to the photographer's to have a photograph made for a special frame in his office so he can show off his girls. It's a semi-cheesy but completely sentimental annual anniversary gift. This year I will be wearing "that shirt".
It almost feels like I've forcibly shed a layer of skin to be able to don that shirt again. It didn't feel heavy or scratchy or any way uncomfortable. Another words, it wasn't laden with the heavy memories of that day and what an important role it played. The other day it was just a beautifully draped shirt that matched my daughters' outfits and subconsciously reminded me of one of the happiest days of my life.
I love that you've made peace with the shirt. I wore my favorite hoodie (at the time) to the hospital when I was in labor with Tyler, not knowing if we were going to stay there or just be monitored and go back home. Even though I only felt (and still feel) a twinge when I wear that hoodie or those jeans, I totally get that "normal" feeling and can appreciate how spectacular that must feel to have wrestled with that beast and won!
ReplyDeleteI struggled with "those" clothes for a long time... the clothes I was wearing the day I learned he was gone. (I don't remember what I was wearing the day he was born. Its like that entire day's details have been wiped away.)
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