Thursday, May 10, 2012
Number Four? No, This Is Number Six
What's in a number? Years, pounds, feet, inches...children. We are now a visible family of six. Two parents and four girls. Which of course draws many good-natured inquiries when we are out and about. People tend to ask if baby is a girl which is then followed by comments, many of which are surprisingly pleasant from other parents of three or more girls about how much they enjoy their daughters. Some are teasing, especially when my poor husband is around. Depending on how the comments are made, some lead me to mention our two invisible sons. You see, there are really eight of us, there are also two boys. We will never know what it's like to show them off or simply just observe them as we do our daughters while out walking in the evening. I will never have the privilege of hearing them say "I love you, Mommy", not even once or seeing just how brightly a smile could light up their faces. I honestly don't mind the questions or comments, I am immensely proud of my daughters and wouldn't trade any one of them for anything. I no longer cringe or pause before answering, my responses are finely tuned to the question, the person asking and my own feelings that particular moment. I no longer feel guilt in the times that I acknowledge only my daughters and I no longer feel guilt at the reactions I get when I acknowledge my sons. It is what it is and nothing I can say or do changes my reality. I own my feelings, my family and my love completely.