Friday, April 13, 2012
Down to the Wire
I now have less than a week until my c-section date. So far so good. The heavy umbrella of last spring's delivery memories has lifted slightly and allowed excitement to creep in. Like any good athlete, I find myself visualizing the best outcome, a healthy baby girl in my arms at the end of the day. My youngest daughter accompanied me to my last OB appointment this week and while we were listening to the heartbeat I was talking to her about it and she asked if that meant that this girl would not die. What an awful thing for a 3 1/2 year old to think about. But for us it's real. That's really the one thing our girls are worried about, that this baby will really get to come home with us - that she won't die. The more awful thing is that it doesn't feel right to give them a 100% guarantee that she won't die. Instead I find myself telling them that she appears perfectly healthy and everything should be okay. It's the same thing that I tell myself all the time. It is what I have to believe to get through the upcoming days and in my heart of hearts it is really what I believe.