May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
-Irish Blessing

Friday, August 5, 2011

Much Ado About Nothing

Today I muse. Specifically, a little Shakespeare taken from "Much Ado About Nothing" Act III, Scene II - "Every one can master a grief but he that has it”.

So true isn't it? The easiest problems to solve in life are the ones that are not our own. The answer is always blindingly obvious, the sufferer so blatantly ignorant. I wonder if others see me through these eyes as I so often see them through mine.

I appear to be on a temporary leave of absence from solving the world's ills and improving my environment one small situation at a time. I have recently found myself plunked into the middle of a few situations in which at least five months ago I would have sprung to action and not even blinked an eye. I would have chastised, instructed and expected my words to be obeyed to the syllable. Instead I found myself inwardly cringing but outwardly not batting an eye. I knew it was different but I didn't care because it also occurred to me (which sadly perhaps those other times it did not) that those things were not my problem. Lately I've had more than my fair share of problems to sort out.

Maybe this is how it should be, okay, this really is probably how it should be. How many of us have so few problems, or so much experience, that we can really afford to try to solve the woes of others? I carry the grief over my two sons with me in every beat of my heart but I master that grief no more than my heart can willingly skip a beat. Some of the best leaders are those that do so by example. Some of the most important lessons are those than cannot be taught.

So, at least for now I will continue on my journey towards mastering my own grief and let others be. They can master my grief if they choose so long as they don't speak a word of it to me.


  1. Our lil Jaxen was born sleeping 8-2-11...The shock of it all is slowly wearing off. I am so emotional and lost. My 4yr old keeps telling me he wants to go to heaven and bring our baby back home. Everything has just happened so fast. I feel like it's not going to get easier and I am trying so hard to keep it together. I don't want our boys seeing me so upset. I know in time it should all get somewhat better though I hope...

  2. Dearest Mandy... I sent you the gift today, that I promised months ago. I am sorry for the delay... I don't follow through with much anymore. It is making its way to you in a white padded envelope. Just wanted to prepare you. Your boys names are within the box and I don't want it to sadden you. So open when you are ready.

    Much love, Valerie
    PS: It would not allow me to sign in and post to your site, I just got caught up in the vicious log-in cycle....

  3. Christina,

    Things will eventually feel different to you, they will. I am so sorry that you have had to suffer the loss of precious Jaxen, I know words do not heal, but my heart aches for you anyway.

    When I was in the depths of our most recent loss, Eli, I only somewhat held it together in front of our girls and they knew when Mommy cried it was because she was said because Eli was not with us. It also gave them an opportunity to address their feelings and tell me if they felt sad too or to cry with me if they needed to. Our 6 yr and 2 1/2 yr olds pretty much moved through it will less tears and less talk but our newly turned 5 yr old really struggled and cried alot and also asked so many questions about why we couldn't just unbury Eli and bring him back home. My heart broke for her the most.

    Your loss is soooo sooo new just take things as they come and from my experiences I would just tell you not to do anything you don't feel comfortable with at this point. I found so many things so hard to do (especially things that involved seeing pregnant women and babies). The more I forced myself to do them the worse I felt and the harder they were. It was tough on the family to have me be so reluctant to do much but that period didn't last too long and it somewhat preserved my mental state.

    Feel free to email me anytime. -Mandy

  4. Thank you so much, Valerie. I understand completely about follow through. We have had so many commitments (most I was unable to back out of) lately that I can barely get the minimum done in life and honestly don't have much energy for that. I keep you in my thoughts - let me know if you need to talk, I am here. -Mandy



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...