Pushing

I could not resist this post title as a woman who has had five kids yet has never pushed one out on her own...

In this case I am referring to limits or boundaries. One of my supreme flaws is a consistent ignorance of limitations. This, to an extent, makes my husband and I a perfect match. He is the one who will walk right up to the line and say, "This line? Watch me." as he walks across. Me, I'm the one who blows past the line without a second thought. I know exactly where it is. So there it is, we're both line crossers.

My recent fitness kick got me thinking about this. I have been running since our second daughter was born. My baby weight and then some just dripped off after I had her and started running. Only now do I realize how far I have come and how much farther there is. Ergo, the pushing. I started out pushing myself to run two miles outside in the morning which is something I had been doing pretty consistently on my treadmill in the afternoons. It was difficult for me to make the adjustment between the times of day and different conditions (i.e., air conditioning with minimal humidity and dripping wet heat) but I did it. Then I pushed some more. So I went 2.25 miles, then 2.5, then 2.75, last weekend I did a leisurely 5k and today just for fun I added in some pretty serious hills. Just to prove I could do it. My life reflects this behavior. So often I see that line, the one between the easy and hard and I just blow right past. Over the years I have learned that contemplation is often more of a necessity rather than a suggestion and I have been known at times to only toe the line. In my case it took time for that change to occur. It is an interesting if not frustrating trait. As a pusher I also have perfectionistic traits which often lead to more pushing. The up side of this is a pretty fit physique at the moment and over the last many years I have become a very adept cook, baker, gardener and crocheter.

Someday soon I hope to cross another line, one whose boundary I have been toeing for some time, but that is for another day. Today I remain behind.